WE ARE SO BACK
After what felt like 84 years… *in the tone of The Rock* FINALLY! THE A-LEAGUE HAS COME BACK!
This was my first off-season as a fan, and boy oh boy was it excruciating, especially after NPL matches were done. I missed the beautiful chaos that is this wonderful league.
The year started off exactly as chaotic as expected. Roughly 45 minutes before kickoff of the first match I realized the A-League YouTube channel had no upcoming live broadcasts. Uh oh. No need to panic though, maybe it just isn’t available in the states! I quickly hopped on a virtual private jet and headed to Canada, only to come to the same sad realization once again. Now the stress started to set in, and my virtual footmark went globe-trotting, only to end up in the same unfortunate predicament when all was said and done.
So I checked back on the official A-League schedule page once again and saw that Austria had the match broadcast on “Sportdigital FUSSBALL”. Thankfully their website doesn’t block VPNs, and after dealing with a fraud detection warning from my bank, I was able to get a day pass on the site for $4.
WE ARE SO BACK.
Match 1 - Mariners v Victory
Pre-Match Prediction: 2-1 Victory.
Result: 0-0 Draw
Look I’ll start out by making one thing very clear, it was 1:30am the day after my birthday. I was partaking in some beverages of adult nature, and to be even more clear, I was absolutely shitfaced.
It’s part of the reason I struggled so hard to even get the match on my TV in the first place. From what I remember, it was more of the same Victory shenanigans. They look dangerous until a pass to nobody gets sent into the box, and a bad shot gets taken. Rinse and repeat. Add in a red card (or two if VAR didn’t exist) and the Vuck lost their luster. A team that wants to fight, but seemingly has no teeth. It’s frustrating, but what do I know? I’m an idiot.
Finals rematch ends in a 0-0 Draw with a red card? 3.5/10 on my Peak A-League Scale.
Match 2 - Auckland FC v Brisbane Roar
Pre-Match Prediction: 1-1 Draw
Result: 2-0 Auckland FC
I only caught the last 10 minutes of this one, I was at work okay yell at my boss not me. The crowd was incredible and the big slide is a big W. Auckland is doing all the right things. Oh, and they won! From what I can tell, this was a perfectly normal game of soccer, a 3/10 on my unofficial “Peak A-League” scale I just invented right now and need to go back and add to the victory match.
Match 3 - Jets v Melbourne City FC
Pre-Match Prediction: 3-0 Melbourne City
Result: 1-0 Melbourne City
The first 15 or so minutes of this made me feel rather confident in my pre-match prediction. City looked sharp in attack, and stout in defense. Then the wheels fell off. Both teams looked unimpressive and this quickly became the most forgettable match of the week for me. Aside from a couple great saves from Beach and one of the dumbest red cards you’ll ever see from Jeggo, this game was painfully uneventful. The Jets look uninspired and if Perth didn’t exist, would be on a fast track for the wooden spoon.
2.5/10 on my Peak A-League scale.
Match 4 - WSW v Sydney FC
Pre-Match Prediction: 2-2 Draw
Result: 2-1 Sydney FC
DERBY TIME BABY. MATA VS COSTA. RED VS BLUE. HERE WE FUCKIN’ GO. After three relatively normal matches, surely this was when things were going to start getting whacky and weird. The atmosphere looked incredible, and the stage was set for an absolute banger. What we got was, well, it was was pretty good actually. Nothing spectacular, but seeing both teams actually score was a welcome sight.
Sydney took an early lead, no thanks to Lolley’s unimaginably bad mustache. They looked to be in complete control the entire first half and The Wanderers seemed to be missing the spark to bring their offense to life.
Halftime rolled around, I drank a few beers, and suddenly we had a game on our hands. The Wanderers found the back of the net in the 56th minute, and followed that up minutes later by taking off their lone goal scorer and bringing on the man we’ve all (me) been waiting for. Juan fucking Mata. HERE WE GO!
Aaaaand it’s 2-1… Sydney. That didn’t go exactly as planned. The next 20 minutes were more of the same, until Burgess accidentally entered the game, realized his mistake and ensured a swift exit via red card all of four minutes later.
Suddenly The Wanderers had some life, the chances were there in the dying minutes but they just couldn’t find the back of the net to bring us the A-League chaos we truly deserve.
4.5/10 on my Peak A-League scale.
Match 5 - Nix v Western United
Pre-Match Prediction: 2-0 Nix
Result: 1-1 Draw
Listen. I was at work again. I’m only human. It’s a part of this life we live unfortunately, and it’s going to be a running theme for these write-ups.
Someone tell me how this game was, because I’ve got no idea.
Rating pending.
Match 6 - Macarthur v Perth RedStar
Pre-Match Prediction: Macarthur 2-0
Result: 6-1 Macarthur
I don’t know who allowed this NPL team to compete in the A-League, but if this match was any indication, it’s a bad idea. It’s fine in the Australia Cup, but someone seriously dropped the ball here. The RedStar looked completely outclassed early, giving up two goals in the first 10 minutes. Every bit of energy Macarthur had was seemingly stolen directly from the RedStar’s defensive ability, like the Monstars in Space Jam. The Bulls ran all over the Red- wait… Glory? You mean an actual A-League team gave up 5 goals by halftime? That can’t be right hold on, I gotta recheck my notes.
Okay well, wow, turns out I was wrong! This game was actually Perth Glory! I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. It feels gross. To steal a joke I saw on twitter, congrats to Perth for becoming the first team to finish a week in 13th!
4/10 on my Peak A-League Scale.
